As my website is often a little intense, dealing with serious (or some say “boring”) issues, I thought it was time to take a moment and bask in the spring Alaska sun.
By Holly A. Bell
Perspectives change in Alaska when the temperature reaches 50 degrees and we start to have both sunshine and daylight again. You can tell it’s spring by the photo of your humble blogger below.
The indication of spring in Alaska is not the sunshine or the lounge chair, but the fact that I was able to unzip my coat and expose my sweater. For men in Alaska seeing a woman publicly exposed in such a manner is roughly equivalent to the thrill experienced by Victorian men at the sight of an ankle. Obviously the winters are very long.
What most people don’t realize is that we have more seasons in Alaska than in the rest of the country. While many northern states claim to have only two seasons (winter and construction), Alaska enjoys at least four seasons between March and August alone. Exposed sweater season is preceded by “squinting” season. This generally occurs in early March when the sun both comes out from behind the clouds and becomes high enough to clear the mountains. Traditional activities during this season include refilling your car’s washer fluid (and using it to wash your windshield), giving gifts of window coverings, and restaurant seating competitions that involve being able to “feel” the sun without being blinded by it.
Exposed sweater season is followed by a rather unpleasant shoulder season–bathed in the color of ill health–called “pallor” season. The removal of sweaters and the donning of shorts characterize this season. There is truly a disturbance in the force, as the raucous din created by the high volume emitting from the collection of pale legs requires you to shout to be heard. During this two-week season we are required to get outdoors (as the noise level inside is deafening) and collect vitamin D in an effort to turn down the volume on our legs. Once this transition is complete, we begin “tourist” season, tone down the winter season eccentricities, and welcome everyone to our great state.
As for the rest of the country, have a great road construction season!
Pilots with sight flight licenses will be banned until those pasty white legs get some sun due to white out conditions caused by the reflection of the sun off of them.